Remus's Secret
by ashes2ashes
Summary: Remus is working underground for the Order and trying to sort out his lovelife when he runs into an old 'friend' I suck a summaries. Please R&R. M for safety
1. Chapter 1

..._Meanwhile Remus Lupin, who was thinner and more ragged-looking than ever, was sitting beside the fire, staring into its depths as though he could not hear Celestina's voice. _

'_Oh, come and stir my cauldron,_

_And if you do it right_

_I'll boil you up some hot, strong love_

_To keep you warm tonight.'_

Molly Weasley glanced over at Remus. She wondered if he was thinking about Tonks.

Remus watched the flames and reliving some of the best times of his life. He was thinking wistfully of how his life might have turned out, if things had been different. If _she_ had been able to stay with him…marry him…live with him and love him forever. _Ana._

Autumn 1980, approx. 1 year before the deaths of Lily and James Potter.

Remus banged on her front door, and called out 'Ana!' Rain poured down, mingling with the blood on his forehead and trickling down his face in red rivers. 'Ana!' Remus called out again. He was having trouble standing. Wincing because of three broken ribs, Remus raised his arm and thumped on her door again. Then the pain became too much and he blacked out.

Ana opened the door in time to catch Remus as he slumped against her. She lowered him gently to the floor and shut the door and pulled out her wand. 'Mobilicorpus' Remus's body rose off the ground as Ana guided him into her living room and laid him gently on her couch.

Ana bit her lip as she looked down at Remus, his face was pale beneath the blood. She knew the work he did for the Order of the Phoenix was vital in the war against Voldemort but she hated that he was risking his life. He protected her and looked after her when they tranformed together every month. The two werewolves had developed a bond beyond words. One might say they were in lov- Sighing Ana retrieved her wand from her pocket and set about healing Remus's various wounds. When she was finished, she disappeared into the kitchen for a while with a bottle of firewhiskey.

Remus came up slowly from his sleep. He was drowsy, he could feel and hand on his forehead, stroking his hair, now his cheek. Slowly he opened his eyes. Ana was there, gazing down at him with a most tender expression on her face. 'You can't sleep out here, Remus, love. You can share my bed.' Then she disappeared down the hall. Rising stiffly, Remus followed her, noting the pain, or rather, the lack of pain he felt. She must have healed him while he was unconscious.

Ana's room was warm and dim, thanks to a roaring fire, which gave off the only light in the room. She had already turned down the covers and changed into a plain cotton nightgown. Remus couldn't help but notice that even this simple garment couldn't hide her lovely slim figure. Ana turned to him, her face in shadow. The firelight shone out around her, haloing her with darkness. 'Remus, you're all wet, you can't sleep like that!' she exclaimed. 'Here,' Ana went over to him and helped him to remove him robes, and the shirt he wore underneath, leaving Remus in his jeans. 'That will have to do,' she said as she laid his clothes beside the fire to dry.

Remus felt vaguely uncomfortable standing near her without his robes, or shoes, or shirt. He knew that it was just foolish, he had transformed back from a werewolf hundreds of times on front of her. But he couldn't keep from blushing as they clambered into the bed together. For a few moments they simply lay there next to eachother in silence, the he turned to her and said softly 'Ana, thank you.' The words went beyond what she had done for him that night, they both knew it. Gently she patted his arm and smiled at him. 'Anything, Remus' And they fell asleep, side by side.

Remus turned his head slightly, coming out of his past to listen to Harry Potter and Authur Weasley talking. He joined the conversation as it moved over a series of topics; Snape, lycanthropy, life with the werewolves. Then Harry asked _'Who's Greyback?'_ Remus felt his fists clench in his lap. He couldn't stop it. Fenrir Greyback. Possibly the most loathesome werewolf in existence. Greyback had taken everything from Remus. Ruined his life. Twice. Remus knew that if the chance ever presented itself, he would kill Greyback. Shortly after, he headed off to bed.

When Harry and the others went back to Hogwarts after Christmas, Remus headed back 'Underground' with the werewolves. He didn't stay with them for the full moon though. It was to risky, they might influence him. It was unbearable being so close to Greyback, having to live under his rule. The werewolf clan lived in an old abandoned factory on the outskirts of London. They mostly stayed in the cavernous storage rooms under the factory, venturing above ground only when necessary. Once, while staying with the clan, Remus thought he saw a familiar face. But it couldn't be, she couldn't be here. It wouldn't be allowed…


	2. Chapter 2

Finally updated! Woo! I think I actually forgot abou the story for a week or two. Oops! Please R&R.

Spring 1981, approx 6 months before the deaths of Lily and James Potter.

Remus and Ana sat together, locked in the cellar of Ana's house drinking wine. It was the night of the full moon, but the moon was still several hours from rising. Neither wore anything more than a light bathrobe; any clothes would be destroyed when the two werewolves transformed. Though they were both much more at ease than normal, there was a certain tension in the air. Remus could feel his body aching for Ana, to be near her and feel her warmth around him. He knew she was feeling the same. It was like this for all werewolves just before transformation. In the past, before Ana had arrived, Remus staisfied the feelings with his hand. Now he didn't have to.

'Tense?' he asked quietly. 'As always,' came the reply. Setting down his glass, Remus moved over to where she sat, sitting down behind her and began to rub her shoulders. She moaned softly 'Remus, that feels so good.' He simply rubbed harder. Ana let her head fall back against his shoulder and he softly began to kiss down her neck. She moaned softly and squeezed his knee. The squeeze quickly turned to a vice-like grip as waves of pleasure rippled through her from Remus's actions. His hands were no longer on her shoulders. One had slipped down to gently fondle and caress her breasts while the other had parted her robe and slid between her legs. Ana moaned as he tweaked her nipple. Through a haze of emotions, she could feel Remus's response to her closeness pressed against her back.

'Remus,' Ana murmured. 'I need you. Now.' Her words went staight to his groin and suddenly, Remus knew how it felt to love and want something so badly that words could not describe it. Laying her back gently on the cold stone, Remus stretched out over her. Ana let her fingers twine briefly into his hair before pulling him down into an intense kiss. The heat which had flared between them grew intoxicatingly until Remus could no longer hold back. Releasing her lips from his, he thrust into her roughly. Ana's head fell back as she was momentarily overwhelmed by him. Remus kissed her as he rocked his hips against hers. He could feel her beginning to respond to his thrusts and the sensation of her holding him tight inside her was almost unbearable.

Short breathy moans and gasps eccape them both as the tension rose between them. Ana's hands were digging painfully into Remus's shoulders but he didn't seem to notice. His lips moved quickly down her neck, leaving a glistening trail behind. His hands moved over her breast, squeezing gently, then down her back to press her body closer against his. Remus felt his pleasure building and building inside him until it reached an explosive pitch. He groaned loudly as he came, pressing into her one last time and seconds later, Ana follwed crying out his name.

When it was all over they held eachother close, feeling their hearbeats settling and their bodies calming. Remus sensed the contentment radiating from her, that words were not needed to fill the silence between them. The desire they felt each month, intensified by the moon, was satisfied for tonight. He kissed the top of her head and pulled her bathrobe, which had slipped down her arms, back up. Then they both lay still to wait for the moon to rise

Present day

Remus sat on his bed at 12 Grimmauld Place and looked out the window into the grassy square below. He wondered where Ana was now, and if she was thinking about him. Returning to his memories, Remus recalled that the day after _that_ full moon, he had asked her to marry him and presented her with as nice a ring as he'd been able to afford. The rain outside trickled down the windows and the sky was grey. Remus could almost hear her voice again: 'Oh Remus! It's just what I wanted! You chose beautifully, sweety. Yes! Yes, I will marry you.' He recalled her laughter, 'I love you, I love you, I love you!'.

Sighing he lay back on the bed and tried not think about Tonks. She had cornered him again today in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. Though part of him wanted to hold onto the past, Remus could not deny that as well as being persistent, Tonks was a beautiful, clever, kind-hearted witch. He didn't want to hurt her, but he knew he didn't love her. 

Early the next morning Molly confronted Remus in the kitchen over a large mug over coffee. 'Now look Remus, what's going on with you and Tonks?' she asked. 'The poor girl looks so sad everytime I see her. You're not just playing with her for fun, are you Remus? Because that's a terrible thing to do to someone, and-' Remus cut her off 'Molly, why would I do that to Tonks?' He ran his hand through his hair. 'Look Molly, things between me and Tonks aren't working. I just don't feel the same way about her as she does for me,' he said earnestly. Molly gave Remus a strange look, as though she suspected there was something else on his mind. _Which there is _thought Remus as he helped himself to toast and bacon from the fresh stack on the table.


End file.
